


Am I Really In Love?

by KeoProductions



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Brother/Sister Incest, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 18:13:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7542874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeoProductions/pseuds/KeoProductions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>_____ has been struggling with her feelings for Yixing her whole life... and when she finds out how Yixing feels about her, things get a little out of hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Am I Really In Love?

It started the day I came home crying in middle school.

Yixing was in ninth grade, while I was in eighth. We always were an inseparable pair of siblings, since the day I was born. But maybe we are more inseparable than I originally thought...

I came home crying because that day I found out all of my friends were only my friends because they were using me. They didn't like me for who I was, they just wanted the answers for the next test. I wouldn't have actually believed it if someone came and told me, but I heard it with my own ears and ran home the moment after.

Highschoolers came home first, since they start earlier in the morning than middleschoolers do, so Yixing was already at the house when I came bursting through the front door.

"Is that you?" I heard my name slip from his lips and hurried to the bathroom in order to hide. Yixing hates it when I cry, he says I'm too pretty to feel so sad.

But I couldn't help it that day. I've never felt so lonely in my entire life.

"Hey," I heard his voice on the other side of the door after he tried opening it and realizing I locked it. "Open up, I want to come in." He said, and I really shouldn't have, because we were already close and I shouldn't have brought us closer.

But I did, and the moment the door opened I flew into his arms and bawled. He automatically started rubbing my hair and back, whispering "it's okay" and "I'm here".

They were the best things to say to me at the time, because all I wanted was for someone to be there for me, like I was for everyone else.

"I don't have friends anymore-- no, I never did." I corrected myself, squeezing the back of his shirt in pain. "Now I have no one at all, because no one likes me. Not even mom and dad." I started crying again at that, and Yixing pulled away to hold me by the shoulders and looked me in the eye.

"What are you saying? Are you listening to yourself?" He said my name again, and it was the most beautiful thing in the world. "Mom and dad love you a lot."

"No they don't. They love you, and I just happened to be born." I always thought it was an accident (my birth). Why would mom and dad want another child when Yixing was so perfect? "I'm nothing like you, and I see the disappointment everytime they look at me nowadays. They're waiting for me to suddenly have a breakthrough or be natural at playing an instrument or be good at business." I choked out angrily. "But I'm just average at everything that don't involve my grades! YOU'RE the one they love, not me."

Yixing was quick to stop my tears because he laughed-- he actually LAUGHED at what I said, and I blinked in confusion. "Are you kidding? You must not hear the talks dad gives me every night in the kitchen, then."

"What talks?" I asked him softly, trying to remember but couldn't.

"Dad is worried I won't be able to get a real job." Yixing said sadly, a small smile on his face. "He thinks my love for music won't get me where I want to be in life, no matter how skilled I am."

"Talented, you mean." I said, and he grinned at me and ruffled my hair.

"Anyways, mom and dad do love you. And so do I." He kissed my forehead, making my blush. "That's all that matters, right? Family?"

Quietly, I nodded my head. But I knew then that what mattered was also more than family-- it was love, but I didn't want to admit it, because that would mean, in that moment, I fell in love with my older brother.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Yixing made sure I had real friends when I got to highschool. And when I say real friends, I mean he introduced me to his friends, and we all liked hanging out with each other so I got stuck with them. (Literally, his friend Baekhyun said he wouldn't let me leave the group since he liked my presence.)

It was also in highschool that something else happened. Something else that only confused me more.

I was paying close attention to how I felt whenever Yixing was near me, touching me, talking to me or about me. I'd never felt that way about someone before, and it really bothered me then that it was only with Yixing.

I even tried to transfer the feelings to someone else, more specifically, Junmyeon, one of my and Yixing's friend. I had confessed to Junmyeon that I liked someone I felt I shouldn't, and asked him politely if he'd kiss me so I could see if I actually liked my brother or just wanted physical affection.

It was my first kiss, and it was the sweetest thing ever, but it wasn't the same as being kissed by Yixing. Even when Yixing kissed my cheek, or my hair or forehead, it felt completely different than how I felt with Junmyeon. Me and Junmyeon are still close friends, but none of our friends know what we did then.

Anyways, it was Yixing's prom night, and he left with no date, and came home without one. It hadn't bothered me much, since I couldn't genuinely wish he'd hook up then. What bothered me was that he came home DRUNK.

"How did you do that a school event?!" I asked him angrily, wanting to scold him for being so irresponsible, but he just giggled and fell onto the living room couch. I had to double check if he locked the door, and made an extra effort to lock the windows and medicine cabinet before going back to him.

"It was just a few drinks." He said strangely, and I thought it was the alcohol, but it was really because something else was on his mind.

"One drink is too much! If you were caught, or if mom and dad were home right now you'd be in big trouble!" I tried to reprimand him, but he just sat up straight and stared at me.

"Mom and dad aren't home?" He asked slowly, and I shook my head.

"They went out and won't be back for another two hours." I told him, and suddenly I was in Yixing's lap because he pulled me there, and I didn't know what was happening when he suddenly kissed me. "Yixing?!" I exclaimed, trying weakly to push myself away.

"Wait, please." He begged, and I couldn't find it in me to say "no" to him then, which was my next big mistake. When I stopped struggling against him, he moved his kisses down to my jaw and neck, and I didn't know what else to do but blush.

My older brother was being intimate with me! What does that mean?? I had thought, because I couldn't actually believe it. "Yixing, do you know who I am?" I decided to ask then, trying to figure out if he really could tell or not. If not, then I'd hate myself for getting excited and hopeful. And then my name slipped from his lips in a whisper, and I shivered at his touch.

And I was right. Junmyeon's kiss never gave me sparks like Yixing's did. I never felt this needy or hot when I kissed Junmyeon, because I didn't love him like I loved Yixing.

And suddenly I was kissing him back, less sure and less passionate than he was kissing me, but I did nonetheless. Yixing made a loud sexy noise that threw me off my game, and I shivered when his hands ran over my hips and squeezed them.

I was about to start kissing him harder, when he suddenly froze. I pulled away to see why and saw he had passed out. It was then that I realized I should have pulled away and told him "no", because now I was stuck in the grave I dug for myself.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Now, as in today, I'm moving back into my parent's house for the summer since I can't afford to stay at my college dorm. Yixing can, since he has a part time job, so it surprised me when Mom told me he was coming back home, too.

I didn't see him much at campus because I purposely avoided anywhere I knew he was going. After that incident in highschool, we kind of drifted apart without him ever knowing why (he didn't remember that night when I vaguely brought it up).

I just finished unpacking all of my boxes when my Dad came in and announced that Yixing and I would be sharing the room again, like we used to. It feels odd when I imagine it, because I spent so much time sleeping in my own room at the dorm, I'd definitely feel like someone is intruding my space.

But he's my dad, so I can't deny him. "Alright." I tell him, kissing him on the cheek. "And welcome home." He just came home from work, and he hugs me in return.

"Yixing will be here soon." He tells me.

"Already here." Comes his voice from behind Dad. Dad steps to the side and I'm taken aback by Yixing's appearance. Somehow, college has made him even more handsome than he used to be, and it takes everything in me to not become a mess of words, because he's my brother, why would we be awkward around each other?

"Hey," I say as casually as I can manage, and Yixing smiles in reply.

Then, "We're sharing rooms again?" He asks quizically, and I nod. "And beds, too, I assume?" He says, glancing at the only bed in the room.

Ah, I didn't even notice.

"Sorry, it'll just be until we can buy another mattress. Until then, you'll have to bunk up." Dad says apologetically, but he has no idea how much this bothers me.

"O-Okay." I stutter, which goes unnoticed by Dad, but not by Yixing. Once Dad declares that he's taking Mom out to go shopping for food, and I've run out of excuses to avoid Yixing, he corners me in the living room.

"Are you doing this on purpose?" He asks, offended, and I stop dead in my tracks, body freezing up.

"Doing what?" I ask him nonchalantly, trying to be normal, but I can't even look him in the eye.

"Ever since my senior year, you've been running away from me." He says bitterly.

"Since your prom night, to be specific." I mutter under my breath, rolling my eyes. This didn't need to happen, if only he'd pretend like everything is normal, too.

"Excuse me?" He says, genuinely confused. Then, a light bulb turns on in his head. "Are you talking about that thing you brought up? You said something happened, and I had no idea what you were talking about."

I look down at my feet, face flushing at the memory, and I even feel my body start to tingle where he touched me that day. Suddenly it's too much and I want to hide again. It's a habit I never could get rid of.

"It doesn't matter." I say instead, still not looking at him. He's starting to get irritated with me, I can tell, and I can literally feel the tense vibes radiating off of his body.

"Yes, it does. You're my dear sister, and I hate how we're not close anymore. Do you know how excited I was when you started Freshman year of college? I finally got the chance to show you my new world, to share my problems and good times with you. But then you decided to go your own way and you completely abandoned me. So yes, Sis, it does matter. It matters to me, a lot." He says, all the while stepping closer to me until he's right next to me.

"I don't want. To tell. You." I say slowly, gritting my teeth. I was feeling REALLY uncomfortable now, and I'm sure Yixing can see the heat coming off of my face because it's so hot right now. My mind spins at the proximity of his body from mine, and I have to close my eyes to calm down.

"...Please?" He whispers, voice gentle now, because Yixing only wants to be close to me now. It's all he's ever wanted, and he's been kicking himself over and over for not knowing what he did-- or what he didn't do, to make me act this way towards him.

"You came home drunk that night." I start.

"I.. did?" Yixing blinks in shock. "That explains my bad head ache the day after..." Then he lets me continue.

"I just... you were.. you found out Mom and Dad wouldn't be home until late that night." I say absentmindedly, wanting to be anywhere but right there. Losing my nerve, I sigh and step away from him anxiously. "Never mind, just let me finish cleaning--"

"No!" Yixing yelps, grabbing my wrist and pulling me back. But I fall back harder than either of us meant me to, and I stumble back on to the couch. "Please, I don't want us to be like this anymore. I want to know." He pleads, and I cover my face.

"If I tell you, it'll only make it worse!" I try to explain, but he won't have it. He's so sure that me telling him will make things right, but he's so wrong!

"It won't, I promise it won't." He says, kneeling so that we're face to face (well, face to hands - I still can't look at him).

"You..." I suck in a deep breath. I have no other choice. I'm cornered, have the disadvantage, and can't run away until he lets me. "...You kissed me."

I let my hands fall away from my face, tears falling right after them. Yixing stares at me in wide-eyed silence.

"I.. what?" He splutters, face flushing a million shades of red. "I wouldn't--"

"You did." I say simply.

Yixing still stutters for an explanation. "W-Well, it was an accidental one, right?" He asks hopefully, but I shake my head. "I did it on purpose?" He asks, the color draining from his face, but I didn't notice.

"Yeah." I say, voice cracking pitifully. "Right here, too. You pulled me into your lap and started--" I can't finish it, so I cover my mouth and close my eyes again, the tears never stopping.

"Oh my gosh... dammit-- FUCK." I hear Yixing swear in anger, before he soothingly rubs my hair and arms, trying to get me to stop crying. "Please don't cry, it's over. I hate it when you cry." Even after all these years, he hates it. "You're too beautiful to cry," My name slips past his lips, and it's exactly the reason why I fell in love with Yixing.

My older brother.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Mom and Dad still aren't home by the time we head upstairs to go to bed. Yixing awkwardly decides to sleep on the edge of the bed, while I can have most of it, but even with all the space, I curl up on my side and stay that way.

I stopped crying after Yixing comforted me, and he swore that he'd never do something stupid like that again, or even go out drinking again. I told him he was overexaggerating, but he wouldn't have it and stubbornly decided by himself.

Even so, I still love him romantically, and I can't stop these feelings of joy now that we're able to start moving past that day in highschool. I'm about to fall asleep with these thoughts, when suddenly Yixing breaks the silence.

He breathes my name, almost as if he's afraid to wake me, and I reply. "Hmm?"

I watch him roll on his other side, so that he's facing me in the dark. "I have something to tell you." He says nervously. "Something I should have told you long before you started high school."

"Wow." I reply. That's a long time of waiting to tell me something. "Well, go ahead. Hit me." I challenge him, trying to be casual, like we used to be.

"Promise you won't leave right after I tell you?" He says, desperately needing reassurance.

"I promise. Tell me." I answer, wanting to be as comforting as possible. Maybe he's had a problem all this time, and I never noticed.

"I love you." He says. I blink in the darkness at him.

"I love you, too." I say back, but I watch him shake his head.

"No, I love you. I'm IN love with you, even though you're my little sister." A problem he's had, indeed.

I let the full weight of what he's said hit before sitting up suddenly, "Yixing, really? FUCK. Why are you telling me this now?" I say in a rush, and Yixing sits up in a panic.

"You said you wouldn't leave." He splutters.

"I'm not. I know I said that. I'm not." I reply, making sure he's keeping a safe distance from me. I grab the hair on my head. "So you remember kissing me? And you did it on purpose? And--"

"No! I really don't remember doing that to you!" He says in agony, reaching out to grab my hand. "I swore to myself I wouldn't ever touch you in that way unless you wanted me to, but you never came out and said you felt the same, so I held back." He explains hurriedly, like if I didn't know all of this I'd never forgive him.

But shouldn't he know I've already forgiven him?

"Xing.." I sigh heavily, rubbing my temples in exhaustion. He hangs on to my every word, watching my reaction as best he can without light. "Are you lying to me?" I ask carefully, making sure my tone wasn't accusing, but curious.

"No. I never lie to you." He replies resiliently, then more meekly, he whispers, "Please don't hate me. I can pretend I never--"

"No. No, don't pretend. I'm just--" I let go of my hair and crawl over next to him, and he backs up as far as he can without actually falling off the edge.

"Sis--?!"

"Me too. I love you, too." I say, and in a second, our lips crash together and we're touching just like we did that night in highschool. His hands are on my hips when I straddle him, and his lips feel so electrifying on mine, like magic.

"When I kissed you then," He asks breathily, pulling away. "Was it your first?" I shake my head, much to his surprise. "But you didn't have a boyfriend ever." He says, wracking his mind to remember.

"My first kiss was with Junmyeon." I tell someone for the first time, and Yixing's eyes widen in surprise.

"Junmyeon? Our friend??" He splutters.

"Yeah." I lean down to kiss him again, but he stops me.

"Why? Did he force it on you?" He asks, and I laugh at his concern.

"No, I asked him to." I admit, and when Yixing looks even more confused, I add, "I wanted to stop loving you, because it's wrong." I say, and Yixing's expression softens and he finally lets me kiss him again.

His lips are so soft, and when he smiles into the kiss, I feel his glorious dimple form on his right cheek and I kiss it lovingly, so happy that I'm finally able to do it.

Then he kisses me heatedly, and I feel something down in my lower area, pushing against my sweats. I'm about to ask what it is, but then Yixing whines, "Can I please take you? Right now?"

And I don't know why but I nod, because Mom and Dad could come home at any time. "I've never done it before." I confess as he rids us of our clothes.

"I'll take care of you." He promises, flipping our positions once we're completely naked.

Yixing's seen my bare body before (we live in the same house for goodness's sake), but this time feels different, and I get really shy and try to cover my breasts.

He stops me though, grabbing my wrists with one hand and holding it above my head. "Xing!" I exclaim in shock, and he simply smiles charmingly at me before his eyes gaze downward to take in my body.

"You've grown up so much.." He says fondly, leaning down to kiss the skin between my mounds. I squirm in embarrassment, and make a shameful noise when those perfect, plump lips of his wrap around my perked nipple. "So pretty." Yixing breathes again, his free hand coming down to fondle my other breast.

In minutes, I start moaning desperately, not used to this feeling or to how my body is reacting to his lustful touches. Instinctively, my legs spread open for him and he lowers himself so that our bodies are flush together, and he moans while flicking his tongue across my tit.

"Xing... Xing, when do you.. put it in?" I ask innocently, not knowing one thing about sex, even though I took health class in highschool (I ignored the whole section about it).

"Patience." He replies simply, switching his mouth to my other breast and leaving the other one wet and cold in the air. His hand slides down to my stomach, rubbing circles there before it moves lower, to my abdomen and I moan again, louder for him.

Then his index finger slides inside of my pussy, and my walls tighten around the intrusion. I whimper at the wonderful feeling of his slow thrusts, moving in and out of me slowly before speeding up. Without me realizing it, he slides in another finger, then another, until he has four pumping inside of me and turning me in a moaning mess.

His tongue leaves my mounds finally and he moves up to my collarbone and neck, sucking dark spots in his wake until he's back to my lips. He kisses me sweetly, sliding his fingers out and leaving my vagina twitching for something to enter it again.

"If this is a dream, I don't ever want to wake up." He chuckles, taking in how flushed my skin was, the sweat starting to bead down my forehead and my parted red lips open just wide enough for him to see a glimpse of my tongue.

He slides his tongue in my mouth as easily as he slides his member into my sex, and I know he's holding himself back from completely destroying me because he's groaning as he slides in as slow as he can so I can adjust to his size.

I feel a tear slip down my cheek, and Yixing kisses it away as he buries himself in me to the hilt. "You're doing so good, little sis, you're taking me so well." He reassures, kissing my face all over. I simply whimper in response, and he starts to slowly move inside of me, pulling out to the tip before sliding all the way back in.

I cry out in a mix of pain and pleasure, mind having a hard time distinguishing it, but as Yixing's hips start to speed up and he builds a constant rhythm of "ah ah ah", all I feel is hot, raw pleasure of my older brother's dick destroying my pussy.

"Xing," I moan, and he grunts as he gives a hard thrust. He stops for a moment, pulls my hips up higher into his lap, then continues, and for some reason he seems to reach deeper inside of me, making my entire body tingle in pleasure.

Suddenly, I'm hit with a foreign feeling, and I don't know what's happening, so I start calling his name. "Yixing, Yixing-- wait! Something's happening!" I say desperately, but he only pounds into me harder, kissing my lips sloppily.

"It's okay." He tells me. "It's okay, it's normal. Just keep saying my name." So I do. I whisper, whimper, and moan his name over and over again, that strange feeling building and buidling in my lower area until suddenly, my back arches up and my entire body tightens. My pussy tightens around Yixing's cock and he whimpers in pleasure, muttering my name as his hips stutter.

My skin is set ablaze, and everything feels hotter and better. My mouth hangs open as I let out a long, debauched "Xing!~" while my big (literally, he's so big inside me) brother keeps thrusting his erect cock in me, harder and harder until he yelps my name and he stills.

I hadn't even realized my eyes shut until I open them again, white dots in my vision and I'm panting heavily. Yixing's penis is putting something warm inside me, and for a second I think he's peeing in me, before I remember a little section I accidentally overheard in health about ejaculating. It feels strangely good, having him fill me up with something so warm, and I find myself moaning again.

Soon after, Yixing stops bucking his hips and slides of out me slowly, breathing uneven. "Sorry," He apologizes. "I came in you. I forgot to slide out." He says, kissing my bare stomach.

"Does that mean I'll get pregnant?" I ask worriedly.

"There's a good chance you might, unless you take a pill for it tomorrow." He says regretfully. "I'll buy it for you, so Mom and Dad don't know." I nod, then drop my head against the pillows.

"What happened to us?" I ask curiously, and Yixing laughs breathlessly. It's beautiful, and I'm so glad I'm able to be with him like this now.

"It's called 'cumming'." He explains. "It's when you orgasm, and I ejaculate." He says, using his fingers to point.

Yixing helps me clean up and get back in our clothes, just in time, too, because we hear Mom and Dad open the front door downstairs. We scramble to hide in the sheets, and manage to even our breathing before we hear the bedroom door open.

"Oh, they're sleeping already." I hear Dad say softly as they enter the room.

"Look, they've always been so close." Mom says, sighing dreamily. "Do you think..?"

"Maybe. They are OUR children, after all." Dad replies, and me and Yixing have no idea what they're talking about.

"That doesn't mean they're into incest, like we were. We never exposed them to that kind of thing." Mom replies, and I hold my breath in shock. What the hell?

"Our marriage is exposure enough, even if they never found out." Dad says back to her. He pauses, then says, "I wouldn't mind it if they got married like we did, big sister." Dad says, and I almost want to barf at the realization that my Dad is also my uncle.

"Me neither.. but they don't seem to be like that?" Mom's voice is quieter, and I think they're leaving the room.

I just hear Dad's reply before they shut the door. "Maybe, but we kept it a secret, too, remember?"

The moment I hear them close the door to their bedroom, I sit up in bed at the same time Yixing does. We're sharing the same expression.

"Mom and Dad are--"

"--brother and sister?"

Okay. For some reason, that feels a WHOLE HECK OF A LOT weirder than me and Yixing being together. Why, I don't know. It just does.

Then, we laugh, and Yixing leans in to kiss me again. It's sweet and full of love, and when he pulls away he whispers, "Goodnight."

 


End file.
